Thursday, September 20, 2012

Laissez-le Se Coucher

The french have a saying, Laissez-le se coucher, which simply means, Let it lie.  When I think of that simple term it makes my heart swell with peace.  I think how beautiful it is when one can adopt this saying into their lives and truly abide by it.  I like the way it rolls off the tongue, I like how it makes me feel like I have an edge on understanding. Heck, I just like the way it makes me feel when I can tell others of such a term.  Maybe it makes me feel smart, perhaps it makes me feel in control, and there is also (I hate to admit it) the possibility that it makes me feel better than you because I appear to have grasped this term and am trying to live by it.  Whatever it may be, I love the phrase Laissez-le se coucher.

I haven't blogged in a while.  Life has been busy and full of so many changes, but while out doing my final mowing of the season, riding around on my mower, this phrase kept coming into my mind, over and over and over again.  I suppose mowing time is my best time for contemplating what to blog about and now that fall and winter are approaching I will have to find other activities to spark my thoughts.

But let's get back to Laissez-le se coucher.  When you think about it, this phrase has power in it. To let it lie, I mean really? Don't we wish we could all actually do that?  When someone hurts us and we want revenge do we seek that revenge or do we Laissez-le se coucher?  What about when we break away from someone, do we secretly seek after them, pine away wishing they would give us attention, or do we Laissez-le se coucher?  What about something someone did to us that we thought was wrong, or words spoken to us that cut us to the core.  Do we carry those scars or do we Laissez-le se coucher?

From a personal standpoint, I am the one who carries the hurt, seeks the attention, holds the regret.  Who I really want to be is the girl who can smile and simply say, Laissez-le se coucher.  Oh, I have adopted this thought on a few issues that come up in my life, but as an overall attitude, well ~ I have a looong way to go.

I was raised in a family where you never let go of anything, well - anything that was bad or hurtful, anything that made you feel wronged or taken advantage of.  My father can tell you every bad thing that ever happened in his life.  He remembers the exact dates, the weather conditions, sometimes I think he recalls what he was wearing.  What this has done in his life is nurture a lifetime of anger, bitterness and disappointment.  He doesn't seem to recall the joys along the way, only the negative things that were hurled at him.   I am reminded of the proverb, For by what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved. Proverbs 2:19b

I have one sibling that seems to adopt this nature as well.  Ok, I admit it - when I was young I was a rotten kid.  I tortured my siblings and often got them in trouble.  No blood was shed and no one suffered loss of limb or life, but to this day, anytime there is something that sets them off, memory is brought up of something I did when I was 5 and the entire mood is ruined.  Many a fun occasion that could have been a memorable sibling moment has been ruined because they hold on to a negative memory.  I have witnessed dozens of times as a grudge replaces joy.

What this has done to affect me is that I choose not to be around my family. I stay away, visits are short, I find myself making excuses not to be available when I am around them.  It's rather sad actually, but nurturing resentments makes time spent together rather uneasy and less than desirable.

Over the years I have found myself bringing these same attitudes to the forefront of my life.  I find something that happened (eons ago) driving me crazy.  I bring it up, I dwell on it and I feel as though I need to make my point about how it is wrong.  What benefit do I get from that? I usually find that the disharmony, much like adding too much water to a pot of coffee, not only brews quickly but spills over and stains everything around it (trouble I've had with my own coffee pot a few times). Trust me, the mess it creates is usually far worse than the problem was in the beginning.  Damn, if only I could learn to laissez-le se coucher.

Can you imagine what the world we live in could be like if we all learned to laissez-le se coucher.  There would be no more stalking, hate crimes, violent acts against those who anger us.  Trust could be rebuilt in broken lives, families would live happily together, guns would not be toted off to schools and the need to lie would drop drastically. This wouldn't be the cure for all of these things, but it would be a start. If we could lay down the things that we hold onto that torture our souls, we could rebuild our lives. We could forgive and move forward rather than being stuck in a rut of self pity, denial and anger. We seem to be unable to laissez-le se coucher because we feel we have to right the wrongs in our lives, and we have to do it now (or over the next 20 years).  Whatever the case may be, we feel we have to hold on to the hurt. We just can't seem to let things lie.....

I am sure all of us could live happier lives if we could grasp laissez-le se coucher.  As a christian I was reminded of this very important lesson just yesterday.  I believe laissez-le se coucher and forgiveness go hand in hand.  In his book, Grace for the Moment, christian author Max Lucado writes about the importance of letting things go and turning them over to God, and the importance of forgiveness.  He writes," Revenge is irreverent, to forgive someone is to display reverence.  Forgiveness is not saying that the person who hurt you is right.  Forgiveness is stating that God is faithful and He will do what is right." He then reminded us of the verse, Wait for the Lord, He will make things right. Proverbs 20:22

When it comes to dealing with hurt and resentment and lack of interest others may show in you,  I not only need to focus on laissez-le se coucher, but on truly letting go and forgiving those who hurt me.  It also means I need to turn my woes over to my God, my father, and allow Him to right the wrongs.  I know He loves me and does these things for me.  He wants His children happy and He wants to see us live a full, joy-filled life. What an awesome God He is!!

I may not be who I need to be yet. Yeah - things still bug me and get under my skin, I hold onto things way past their expiration date, and I may not be anywhere near where I am intended to be, but for now I am choosing to focus on laissez-le se coucher and forgiveness.  The most beautiful part of all of this is that I don't have to do it alone.  I know that I will be able to conquer these things when I laissez-le se coucher ~ at the feet of Jesus!


  1. That phrase reminds me of something I always want to live by ... Also a simple phrase ... Live & Let Live ...

  2. That's a great one too, Mindy. SO simple, yet so hard sometimes. Working on it though, I AM a working on it! :0)

  3. This is a great blog, Robin. I think you nailed it with your last sentence. It's much easier to let go of things that are burdening us, and even poisoning us, if we ask the Savior to help us carry them, or to take them from us. He is always willing to do that for us. We just have to be willing to lay them at his feet, so He CAN take them.

  4. Thanks, Julie. And I agree wholeheartedly. It's amazing, with all we are going through with my husbands job - there's no bitterness, no anger, no resentment. I laissez-le se coucher and the Lord took over. The peace He has given me carries us through each day. It's amazing! <3